let's read this story together..

i really have no idea..what am i thinking right now...i wonder..why should someone will regret with what they had done after losing something..why can't they just appreciate what ever is in front of them....??jom layan cerita nie sesama..



When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

hAti yAnG kAu sAkiTi - LisTeN 2 iT & fEeL iT~

SeLaMaT tiNgGaL ciNta

percintaan adalah sesuatu yang memeritkan..terutamanya bagi seorang wanita..kenapa begitu mudah untuk si jejaka untuk meluahkan cintanya dan mudah baginya untuk menghancurkan cintanya itu demi harta??

cinta itu memang pelik..ada yang kata cinta itu terlalu indah sehingga sukar untuk dibayangkan..ada yang cakap cinta itu adalah satu pengorbanan..tapi bagiku cinta itu memang buta..sehinggakan semua penglihatan kita menjadi kabur dek cinta..mungkin cinta bagiku adalah segalanya kerana tak ramai yang aku cintai melainkan mama...ayah dan Allah..salahkah diriku ini untuk mendapatkan cinta dari seorang lelaki yang boleh membuatkan diriku gembira??yang boleh menemani aku dikala aku dalam kesunyian??

persahabatan yang terjalin selama 6 tahun kini telah berakhir dek kerana kehadiran seorang gadis entah dari mana..perhubungan jarak jauh memang memerlukan pengorbanan yang hebat..mungkin ini adalah dugaan buat diriku..sememangnya gadis itu mempunyai kelebihan yang jauh berlipat kali ganda dari ku..ya..aku x secantiknya..mungkin itu adalah alasan yang kukuh untuk dirinya menjauhi dirikku..malu untuk berdampingan dengan ku!!

aku bersyukur kepada-Nya kerana telah membongkarkan segala kebenaran dan tunjukkan kepadaku segala kemungkaran yang telah dilakukan olehnya..Allah itu maha kuasa..maha penyayang dan Allah telah mendengar segala doaku selama ini..jodoh...pertemuan..ajal..

maut semuanya di tangan-Nya..mungkin ada hikmah disebalik semua ini..apa yang mampu ku katakan hanyalah doaku buatmu semoga dirimu berbahagia disampingnya..selamat tinggal cinta...

SeLaMaT hARi RaYa!!!

sem yang penuh dugaan bagiku...

semester 2 sudah lama dibermula..tapi sampai hari ini baru beberapa kali aku menghadirkan diri ke kelas..huhuhu....sehingga hari ini aku masih lagi dalam MC..baru sahaja balik ke u..macam2 pekara yang menimpa aku..


balik u jer..kaki ku yang retak 2 bengkak teruk sehingga sukar untukku berjalan..memang tidak dapat dinafikan bahawa doktor tidak membenarkan aku untuk berjalan..tetapi sampai bila??aku xmahu ketinggalan dalam kelas..xnak xtend!!disebabkan aku xdapat bergerak aku telah dibawa pulang ke rumah...


setelah menjalani terapi..bengkak di kakiku kembali surut..aku telah mengambil keputusan untuk pulang semula ke u..walaupun terpaksa bertongkan dan kadang kala terpaksa menggunakan kerusi roda..aku tetap bersemangat untuk ke kelas..baru beberapa hari di u..semua pelajar uitm seri iskandar dikehendaki pulang kerana H1N1 dan ini merupakan sem break awal untuk kami...hrmm...


2 hari yang lalu semua pelajar telah pulang semula ke u..sem break telah pun berakhir...aku tiba di kolej pada pukul 8 malam...lebih kurang pukul 9 malam..perutku mula meragam...badanku pula terasa begitu panas...sepanjang malam x boleh tido..asyik lari ke toilet jerk..huhuhu..keracunan makanan la pulak..malang betul nasibku kali ini..badanku sudah semakin lemah..keesokan paginya aku telah ke unit kesihatan yang ada di dalam kampus..walaupun ketika itu aku berada dalam keadaan yang lemah..aku gagahkan jugak diriku unutk memandu kereta ke sana..mujurlah ak telah dibenarkan untuk memandu kereta pada sem ini..disebabkan telalu ramai pesakit yang berada disana untuk mengadakan saringan H1N1..aku sekadar diberikan ubat sahaja..tanpa diberikan MC..nasib baik ak masih dalam mc sehingga 20hb nie..kalau tak...habis la aku..


pulang sahaja ke bilik asrama badanku sudah mula mengeletar dan mukaku kelihatan terlalu pucat...aku terus rebah diatas katil..aku seolah2 tidak sedarkan diri..rakan2 yang berada didalam bilik pun dah mula panik..petang itu jugak mama dan ayah telah menjemputku untuk pulang ke rumah..setibanya di pulau pinang..mama dan ayah telah membawaku ke hospital untuk mendapatkan rawatan..aku telah direhaatkan di wad permehatian dan telah diberikan drip kerana aku telah kehilangan banyak air..beberapa jam kemudian aku telah meminta untuk pulang ke rumah...nampaknya aku sudah semakin pulih..hari ini aku sudah mula rasa sedikit bertenaga..aku benar2 berharap agar selepas ini aku akan pulih kembali..dan aku dapat meneruskan pembelajaran aku seperti biasa..


bagiku...semester ini merupakan semester yang paling mencabar dan penuh dugaan bagiku...

RETAK!!

cuti semester sudah hampir ke penghujungnya...malangnya tulang kakiku pulak retak..macam mana laa nak balik asrama nie..doc da nasihatkan jangan berjalan..coz bahagian tepi kakiku abes retak..huhuhuhu..xsangka pula kesan dari kakiku yang terpelecok di depan pintu rumah mengakibatkan kakiku retak..huhuhuhu..

kejadian ini hanya bermula ketika pagi 25hb jam 8.00pg..ketika itu aku tengah sibuk hendak keluar dari rumah kerana pekerja ayahku sedang menungguku diluar..hari itu merupakan hari yang pertama untukku pergi mengambil borang..mendengar taklimat n melawat tapak projek..kerana ayahku terpaksa menghadiri mesyuarat di tempat yang lain..baru saja nak kuar dari pintu rumah dengan mama..entah macam mana kakiku tiba2 terpelecok..ingatkan terseliuh biasa..jadi ku gagahkan jua diri untuk terus memandu...dan sebelum mendengar taklimat dan melawat tapak projek..aku dan mama terpaksa berdiri hampir 2 jam setengah untuk mendapatkan borang kerana beribu orang yang hadir untuk mengambil borang (terasa seperti ujibakat AF la plak )..aku terpaksa berpaut pada bahu mama kerana kakiku terasa semakin sakit...

setelah semua kerjaku selesai..aku mengajak mama untuk pulang ke rumah sebelum keluar semula untuk membeli barang..ketika memandu..kakiku terasa begitu sakit..sehingga menitis air air mata kerana menahan kesakitan ketika memandu..sampai sahaja di rumah...langkahku sudah semakin perlahan..kakiku semakin payah untuk memijak lantai..setelah selesai membersihkan diri dan menukar baju untuk keluar..aku terus menagis..kakiku mula membengkak dan membiru..aku meminta mama untuk membalut kakiku..tetapi bila disentuh aku mula menjerit kesakitan..mama terus menghubungi ayah untuk menhantarku ke hospital..

memandangkan rumahku berhampiran hospital bukit mertajam mama dan ayah telah menghantarku ke sana..nasib baik kawan mama masih bekerja di sana..dia terus membawaku berjumpa dengan doktor..malangnya doktor tu langsung tidak memeriksaku terus menyuruhku untuk menjalani x-ray..sampai disana pula pekerja yang bertugas hanya x-ray sebahagian jew dari bahagian kaiku..tetapi bukan di bahagian yang sakit..setelah itu doktor tersebut mengatakan kaki aku xada apa2..dan dia menyuruhku pulang tanpa membalut untuk menghilangkan bengkak..

aku dan mama berasa tidak puas hati dengan layanan yang diberikan oleh doktor tersebut..petang itu juga ayahku telah membawaku untuk pergi berurut..dan tukang urut itu mengatakan bahawa terdapat retak di kakiku itu..

keesokan harinya mama telah membawaku ke hospital seberang jaya untuk menjalani peperiksaan semula dan setelah di x-ray doktor mendapati kakiku retak dan terpaksa disimen..huhuhuhu..masalahnya sekang macam mana untukku pulang semula ke asrama??huhuhu..

pHoToGrApHy...

hrmmm..tah la..semenjak cuti sem nie borink jew stay kat umah...macam2 hobi baru pulak yang mule d xplore..hehehehe...biase la ayah bz..nak ajak mama kuar die xnak..nak kuar sorang2 mama xbagi..huhuhu..sedehnye..mule2 cuti je da dapat 1 hobi baru...enath kenape tibe2 jerk minat pulak nak main piano..


so time birthday ari 2 mama n ayah hadiahkan keyboard..memang agak lame dah x main keyboard..last belajar main piano pun time tadika dulu..2 pun belajar daripada anak kawan mama yang merupakan seorang guru muzik...tapi bila dah pindah..terus stop..walaupun agak slow sket nak main..tapi ade jugak lagu yang da boleh main dengan lancar..antaranya " the climb", "love story","matahari", "menghitung hari"..sekarang nie still cuba untuk cari notes untuk lagu "ada untukmu" tapi xjumpa2 lagi..


cuti sekolah sudah bermula..inilah saat yang dinantikan olehku...mau tak..cousinku dari kl sumer nak datang bercuti kat penang..biase la..nak ke luar negara takut H1N1 plak..hehehehe..so 2 minggu nie memang bz la dengan diorang..lepas 1 family ke 1 family yang datang..so ape lagi..jadi tourist guide la diriku ini..hehehehe..nie la masenye untuk snap picture...kini bermulalah minatku dalam dunia photography...tapi pakai camera biase2 jew la..hehehehe...nie ade sket pic yang telah di ambil..tak tau la cantik ker x..hehehehe..

picture nie snap time dalam kereta..tengah tunggu traffic light...ngeeee~